Self Harm and All of Us

Guest blogger and counsellor Annabel Turner invites us to reflect on the spectrum of self harm behaviours which affect us all to some extent and offers suggestions on finding help for self injury.

Ever refused to say no to your detriment and ended up burning out? Ever neglected a health condition protocol only to suffer later? Did you binge drink at that event and spend some of the night or morning throwing up, unable to function and promising you won’t do it again? Pause for a moment and think, how do you cause harm to yourself in your life. My wheat intolerance is already winking at me as I write this to say…”you know don’t you”?

Self-harm doesn’t just apply to the people who may injure themselves in more extreme ways. There is direct and non-direct self-injury.

Some examples of more intentional self-harm include but not limited to: Cutting, burning, poisoning oneself.

What is self harm according to NICE (National Institute Health and Care Excellence)

“Self-harm refers to an intentional act of self-poisoning or self-injury, irrespective of the motivation or apparent purpose of the act, and is an expression of emotional distress”

To feel or not to feel

The act of self-harm can take a person from the current state of being with the desired outcome being the opposite or different. If you feel disconnected and dissociated, to injure yourself might make you feel something, and if you’re feeling something intensely you may self-harm as a way to not feel those uncomfortable emotions anymore and feel something else instead. Maybe you want to punish yourself, because you feel as though you deserve it, or you want to have control where there is none elsewhere, you want to be acknowledged in your pain by others. There are many reasons individual to a person why they may self-harm and we as counsellors listen to our clients, without judgement or condemnation curious to hear the reasons why you want to feel or not feel, as behind this is a powerfully important story waiting to be told.

Self harm to Self-care

For some, stepping out of the cycle of self-injury can be challenging, maybe even scary -  if you have wounded yourself what can you do next? Well, whilst you’re not in the middle of the anguish, despair and intense feelings before the injury, you may be in a state of relief, euphoria, or feeling grounded. Can you care for yourself in this space? Can you look out for signs of infection, or worsening symptoms? Its important to seek medical attention if you feel its necessary to prevent further ill health.

Where else can you seek support? If you can’t talk to someone close to you, is there anyone you feel safe enough to talk through what you’re feeling or experiencing at this time? Can you talk to your GP? Give a call to Samaritans? Join a peer support group with others who also self-harm? As counsellors we work with clients who self-harm, we look at the motivations, we hear the pain that needs to be heard instead of felt through infliction. We can help you find ways of coping that work for you. We have a compassionate approach and way of working and some counsellors will have personal experience of it themselves.

Self-harm is not taboo: its prevalent in all of our lives in one way or another and there’s a scale, where we could all place ourselves. If you find yourself on the higher end of that scale, support is out there waiting for you.

Help for Harm

The NHS website provides information about self harm and help that is available.

Calm Harm is an app which helps you to manage the urge to self harm by suggesting a range of coping strategies

National Self Harm Network online forum providing 24 hour crisis support as well as information 

Life Signs - Self injury guidance and Network Support – user led online forum. The website has ideas and resources for managing and reducing self harm.

You can also call Samaritans on 116 123, to talk to someone about anything that is troubling you, available 24/7 and 365 days a year: